EGLIN AIR FORCE BASE, Fla. -- I write this, not for accolades or for any kind of support. I write this to let people know… you are not alone.
I know what that feels like and I don’t want anyone to ever think they are alone. You may not be at this point today, but I hope by sharing my story, it will help you deal with your own personal challenge, or help others through their own struggle.
In September 2019, I self-identified myself to ADAPT for alcohol abuse. There was no significant or tragic event that had happened. I was just sick of hiding it and living that lifestyle. Due to the severity of my drinking, I entered a rehab facility.
Throughout my time there, leadership respected my privacy and even paid me a few visits showing their support for me. I still had things to work through when I left the rehab facility, but I felt pretty good.
However, from December 2019 through January 2020, I suffered a miscarriage. This was totally unrelated to any of my alcohol abuse issues. On top of that, my last, living grandparent died. I had to miss her funeral to have surgery to remove my baby. It broke me.
I subsequently made many mistakes, but I faced them. I reached out to my leadership on multiple occasions to say “I need help.” Those were the three hardest words I ever said.
Alcoholism and depression are not something I expect everyone to understand, but I suffer from both. During the COVID-19 pandemic, my isolation caused my depression to become crippling.
I didn’t want to “bother” anyone and I didn’t want to ask for help… again. However, I realized I had to or I would end up taking my own life. I reached out to someone on my team. There was no judgement and I received the total support of my unit.
I am so glad I overcame my fears and reached out for help. On March 10, I finally reached the six-months sober point. Something I once thought was an impossible task.
Seeking help was the key to this and ultimately my freedom. I can honestly say with the treatment the Air Force provided me, full support from our leadership and continued mental health services, I am happier than I have ever been as an adult.
Mental health is so, so, so very important. I truly hope if you ever need help you will not be scared to reach out. It is okay to Not be okay. It is not okay to suffer needlessly by yourself. We are a team.
Going to mental health has such a bad stigma, but I am living proof, it works. I went to mental health at least monthly since 2019, sometimes more often than that, but I am still here and kicking.
I haven’t been punished in any way for seeking help. Although I was removed as a flight chief, I realize now, it was in my best interest to allow me to focus on healing and therapy. I assure you, seeking help for my alcoholism and mental health issues did not cause any kind of adverse actions on my career.
Please remember, I chose to tell you this. Nobody asked me to tell all about the huge support I was shown by our leadership. I think it’s important everyone understands leadership will be there for you when you need it.
Please do not be afraid to talk to someone if you need help. You are so much more important than anything else. I will always be here to listen, but know there are people out there who can and will always be there to help you. All you have to do is be strong enough to ask and trust me, you are so much stronger than you think.