WEBVTT

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Easily my proudest moment was my first

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time handing off the flag . Supposed to

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be an easy detail , and we finished our

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sequence , we finished our part , and

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as I walked up to the next of kin to

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hand off the flag . I got low And

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presented it to her , and as I began to

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say the message of condolence , I

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looked her in the eyes and she started

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crying . And it was my first time ever

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doing it in the field . And I remember

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feeling tears going down my face . In

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that moment of . I don't even

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know what to call it . I was just so

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nervous because I wanted to provide the

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best possible ceremony . And when she

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saw my tears going down my face , she

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cried harder . And she grabbed my hand

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and put her hand on my shoulder . And

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In that moment , all I really wanted to

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do was sit there and cry with her . But

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I didn't , of course . I took a step

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back . I saluted . And walked off .

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And that's when it hit me . That was

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the moment that I realized why I did

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all the training I did and why it was

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so hard , because in that moment all

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anybody would want to do is just stop

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what they're doing and comfort that

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person . That's not my job . And My job

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is to stand . Salute and walk away .

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Well my position was Carrie and Carrie

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is the middle rifle on the firing party ,

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and his or her job is to pick up 3

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rounds and hand those off to the next

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of kin after the flags are handed off .

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And I remember the look in the father's

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eyes because his son had passed away

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and I believe his son was only 23 years

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old . And The look of

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sorrow is something that I'll never

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forget . And just talking about it

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gives me , gives me goosebumps because .

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That's something that I've never

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experienced in my life , like the look

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of just true . Dejection and loss and

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grief into the eyes of another person

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and that's what I saw and that's

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something that will probably stay with

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me for the rest of my life .

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For my first few funerals , I did

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really well at disassociating . Um ,

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until recently I was MPB and I had to

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hand off the flag to the next of kin

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and she cried , like weep very

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loudly , um , and I had to . Reel

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it back in for a moment , um , because

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I was starting to lose my train of

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thought because you have to give off

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that message of condolence and be like ,

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hey , I still have a job to do , but

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when you get back to the van , it's

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like that was tough .

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It's a hard thing to kind of express

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because it's I'm just there to do a job ,

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but every detailed experience .

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Impacts me on some level because just

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walking away from it after being in

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that environment and paying the Air

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Force's respect to the fallen member .

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Um ,

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Yeah , it's just a Incredible feeling

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On behalf of the president of the

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United States , the United States Air

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Force , and a grateful nation , please

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accept this flag as a symbol of our

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appreciation for your loved one's

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honorable and faithful service .