Parenting classes offer simple child-raising tools

  • Published
  • By Kevin Gaddie
  • Team Eglin Public Affairs
EGLIN AIR FORCE BASE, Fla. --  Two classes offered at the Enlisted Hall here Nov. 16 gave parents tools to help raise both young children and adolescents.

In addition to military and civilian parents from Eglin, several teachers and counselors from Eglin's partnership schools in Okaloosa County attended the sessions. Parents and representatives from Hurlburt Field, Tyndall Air Force Base and Naval Air Stations Pensacola and Whiting Field were also in attendance.

"This initiative is being promoted during November, the Month of the Military Family," said Jacqui Thomas, the community readiness consultant at the Airman and Family Readiness Center. "We know families often go through difficulties with frequent deployments and TDYs. This is an effort to provide parenting skills to military and civilian families, to cover the life cycle of parenting."

Both parenting sessions were conducted by Dr. Thomas Phelan, Ph.D., a registered clinical psychologist who has worked with children, adults and families for more than 30 years.

During the morning session, "1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children two to 12," Phelan asked the attendees to think of parenting as a three step process: controlling obnoxious behavior; encouraging good behavior and strengthening relationships with children.

"The two biggest parenting mistakes are too much talking and too much emotion," said Phelan. "We encourage parents to talk less, be less emotional and strive for consistency when dealing with behavior issues. Parents should be both warm and demanding when setting clear rules and guidelines with their children."

Topics discussed at the afternoon session, "Surviving Your Adolescents: How to Manage and Let Go of Your 13 to 18 Year Olds," included: think straight; establish reasonable house rules and routines; intervene when necessary; and maintain an open, friendly relationship with children while gradually letting go of them.

"Once children hit adolescence, they become more independent, control their own behavior and the parents' job is 70 percent over," Phelan said. "We ask parents to stay in touch with their children and enjoy being with them, instead of controlling them."

The classes were geared for anyone with children who or works with children, Thomas said.

"The lessons taught are most effective when parents have their whole 'team' on board to use them, which can include the baby sitter, teacher, neighbors, grandparents - anyone who also has authority over children from time to time," she said.

Jennifer Wernet, wife of Master Sgt. Eric Wernet, a currently deployed 96th Communications Squadron member, is a mother of two. The parenting solutions she garnered from the "1-2-3 Magic" class she attended several years ago have been highly effective in raising their two children.

"One technique I like in "1-2-3 Magic" is forgiving bad behavior right away," she said. "As a parent, I don't have time to stay angry over the child's behavior. Being able to get over the anger from a child's behavior helps separate the child from the poor behavior they're displaying, and makes the child easier to parent."

Phelan's goal was to offer parents some simple, proven guidance in raising their children to be self-reliant, self-controlled and happy.

"I hope the parents leave the sessions with specific thoughts and strategies that can be implemented right away, to make family life more enjoyable," he said.